9 Years of my Life

I came to be without knowing a thing

But I learned a few things quickly
By my second year of living

I discovered my likes, my dislikes, it was very simple really.
I distinguished friends from strangers,
A task much harder nowadays.

Learning how to make kids like me
And learning how to read
Already learning what it feels like to be hurt
disappointed and suffer loss

But Kindergarten, that was the most exciting of all
Until I realize that I wasn’t actually meeting new kids
I thrived in an academic setting
And my challenges were trivial
Like hiding from my parents when they picked me up from a play-date.

I made a really great friend who moved here from Africa.
She is white, as were most of the kids at my school.
I never really had an indication of diversity until much later in life.
I didn’t like boys, but I could spell really well.
Well, except for my friend Donny, we drew trees during recess.
And I can’t forget Ronnie, my buddy at the zoo.

Our teacher was in a car accident;
We didn’t know her very well, and never got the chance to.
While she was still alive, we missed her in our class.
Our little hearts felt loss for hopefully the first time.
In second grade, I knew some kids who parents weren’t together.
“How strange,” I thought, their parents said forever,
Didn’t they? Regardless, they felt loss at the age of 7.

This wasn’t uncommon, I soon found out, in the years to follow.
Kids don’t just lose their parents –
they can lose their pets, grandmas, and others.
The older I got, the more I learned
No one can be perfect.
And sometimes a hard situation makes acting “normal” hard.
I had a buddy Corey who rode my school bus.
He bullied other kids a lot and had a broken home.

At first, we assumed he was just really mean.
A kid who loves others pain.
But time on the bus showed us all
The pain is in his soul.
By the time I realized this, I had memorized my multiplication tables.
I was best friends with a tennis player
and I got in my first friend fight
I learned that girl scouts was a lot of fun
And that I can’t take care of everyone.

Here’s my poetic (kind of) summary of the first 9 years of my life. ❤

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Your husband doesn’t have to earn your respect

I really do like the topic! I don’t agree 100% with every statement made… but I do agree with his general idea. This is a good read for anyone who likes this kind of controversial stuff.

The Matt Walsh Blog

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I can’t tell you where I was or who was there or when it happened. I don’t want to add to this guy’s humiliation, so I am keeping this vague and generic. I can simply tell you that, some time ago, I found myself in the same vicinity as another married couple.

I certainly can’t read their minds, and I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes, all I know is that the husband couldn’t seem to utter a single phrase that wouldn’t provoke exaggerated eye-rolling from his wife.

She disagreed with everything he said.

She contradicted nearly every statement.

She even nagged him.

She brought up a “funny” story that made him out to be incompetent and foolish. He laughed, but he was embarrassed.

She was gutting him right in front of us. Emasculating him. Neutering him. Damaging him.

It was excruciating.

It was tragic.

It also was, or…

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Reflection On Poetry

I’ve had a great time with the poetry unit. I really enjoy learning about poetry and it’s so fun being able to write it. Poetry displays raw emotions in a complex way. Although that may seem like a bit of an oxymoron… it’s true. 

That’s why this poetry slam is hard for me. It is personal, but impersonal all at once. While I am relating it to a personal experience, it is an experience that many have been through and that many can relate to. It feels odd to know that I will be bearing my heart to our english class. Not that I’m worried, because we have an awesome class and what not… but it’s just an odd feeling to me because it is so raw.

Poetry is raw. If there’s one thing I learned from writing my own poem and displaying it for the class, it’s that it’s hard to display such raw emotions. While the class may not understand it (or anyone for that matter), to me, the poem is very obvious, forward, and open.

But based on the discussions that we’ve had in class, I know that the poem’s intent is not always so visible. Everyone interprets a poem based on their own experiences and own opinions of why an author wrote what they wrote. So it’s interesting to be on the other side of it, feeling so incredibly vulnerable! 

Anyways, those are just some thoughts that I have on what we’ve done on poetry so far this year. I’m looking forward to continuing to read poetry.

Growing Older Isn’t As Awesome As You May Think

Days get shorter, memories grow faint, our senses fade. Friends come and go, like the season change. Hopefully you’ve chosen happiness throughout your time on earth, as opposed to constantly searching for it.

Growing older seems so great. When I was younger, I loved to play games like “house,” where I’d be mommy, someone would be daddy, someone would be our kid, and someone would be the dog. (I always felt bad for that kid!) We’d make up jobs, build a house, wear “grown-up” clothes; we’d make phone calls, build relationships, have “grown-up” fights. It was so glorious. As children, my friends and I were constantly lusting to grow old.

Not so fast, kiddos. Don’t lust to grow up. Don’t wish that you were done with high school. Don’t think that college or joining the work force is “so much better” than where you are right now. It’s not. It’s all about perspective.

You can be happy in whatever place you’re in. Middle school, high school, college, work force, retirement, in love, with friends, with family, whatever place. Happiness is a choice, not a circumstance. Happiness is not an end goal, happiness is appreciating your journey to the end of this life. If happiness depended on our circumstances, this is how it would be: Success will bring you momentary happiness, until the next goal is in place. Love with bring you momentary happiness, until there is a dull moment. Friends will bring you momentary happiness, until they fade and you realize “best friends forever” meant nothing. Happiness doesn’t just come with age. (To read my blog post on choosing happiness, click here :))

It saddens me to hear people say that they’re ready to “move on”, ready to grow up, and ready to get out of here, because then they’ll finally be happy. This perspective is poor. Enjoy where ever life has you “stuck” right now, and you won’t feel so stuck.

Fellow seniors, I have seen it far too much this year. Everyone is so done with high school. My advice? Don’t be. It’ll be gone before you know it, and soon you’ll have more responsibilities than you realized. Growing up isn’t as glamourous as we make it out to be and always have made it out to be. Enjoy the journey of high school, don’t just wish that it were over. Happiness will not find you on  June 14th. You can find happiness today, and love being the age that you are, regardless of your maturity.

I know so many people that thought they’d be happy as soon as _____ happened. They’d be happy once they have a boyfriend. They’d be happy once they beat a particular team. They’d be happy if they made their way into “that group” of kids. They’d be happy when they got promoted. They’d be happy once they got married. Guys, the list goes on and on of the “I’ll be happy when’s.” I have met a lot of people that had a lot of awesome plans that didn’t happen exactly how they expected it would.

My life is a great example of that. Not that I had these awesome plans that have been smashed, but my family has had some circumstances that are less than ideal. A lot of things have had to change for us and our plans simply because circumstances changed a lot. Life didn’t turn out the way that my mom and dad envisioned it 25 years ago when they got married. It’s extremely different, in fact. They didn’t predict that life would be the way that it is now.

If our family stopped finding happiness along the journey and only thought happiness would happen when _____ happened, we’d end up disappointed.

Appreciate the journey you’re on, not the end goal that you think is going to happen. Live in the moment. Appreciate the time and friends that you have, and don’t ever lust to grow up. It might just disappoint you.