Looking Forward (FC)

Ms. Allyn’s blog inspired me to write about looking to the future. While I’m not looking at it with much certainty or confidence, I’ll take some time to look at it.
My life is different now than it was a couple of years ago, and in a couple years, it will be vastly different yet again. I’m not afraid of the change; change is expected. I’m afraid of how I’ll feel about the changes because I don’t know what they contain.
These past few months have not been my favorite months that have ever happened. As I’m discovering more and more about what I want to do for college, I’m continually left without a way to do it. That’s not my fault but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m realizing more and more which of my friends care about me and which friends I’ll probably still be talking to a year from now. As depressing as that may sound, it’s true! I’m just being realistic.
Didn’t mean for this to sound negative. On a positive note, I know that those few friends are really really really great friends. While I don’t know if I can do what I’ve always wanted to do after high school, I know I’ll be doing something to be on my own and self-sufficient.
I’m really looking forward to doing life on my own. I’m scared because it’s a rough transition. There are plenty of pros and cons in that transition but in my case, I definitely feel like there are more pros. I think the most difficult thing in this transition is finding a solid / steady income that can support me fully.
But I think it’ll be good for me to take a break from being surrounded by people all of the time and good for me to move for the first time in my whole life. I think something that I’m looking for a lot of right now is change, with a slight case of wanderlust. (ie my hair, my want to drive around, and desire to throw away everything.)
So to conclude, my future looks like it’ll be different than how I always wanted or imagined but good for me either way. This time during senior year is so awkward. You feel me?

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