So over break… I was working. Not too excessively but I logged about 15 hours at Kohl’s between black Thursday and last night. So it seemed like a lot, especially because I was working until the wee hours of the morning two different times. But I don’t work the rest of this week, which is pretty cool if you ask me.
I had Saturday night off. I had to do something fun! Brian’s family was celebrating their family Thanksgiving on Saturday because he and his sister spent REAL Thanksgiving with other families. So I turned to my friends who are so old, 18 years old, and not mormon.
I asked them if they wanted to do something that 18 year olds do! Like clubbing, hookah, piercings, tattoos, etc. We decided on clubbing, because it’s probably the healthiest option and the least damaging or permanent on our bodies. So Colton P., Nick B., Michaela G., and I headed down to Portland at about 10:30pm on Saturday and we were so ready to just dance like crazy!
The only thing we didn’t really realize was that we were walking into one the most culture shocking moments of our lives. We tried to anticipate what was ahead and talked about the crazy things we may see. Once we found that super awesome and so cheap eight dollar parking (insert eye roll), we walked up to the club like hot shots – shivering, wet, and scared.
We handed the bouncers our ID feeling pretty cool and want to know what he said? “Ninety five..?” Um, yes! We are allowed in, thank you! We are 18!
We walked in, not really sure what to do or where to go. As we gazed our virgin eyes upon the night scene… there were togas everywhere. This place is pretty classy! … well… the setting is. Nice tables and things. We found a nice 4 person table to sit at because there was no one dancing yet. The party didn’t even really start until about half an hour after we had been there.
Once the party started… I won’t describe the scene we witnessed. Being four white naive kids from Hockinson, we were so appalled by some dancing that we saw. Why do people feel comfortable doing such inappropriate things on a dance floor?!!?! Sure… it’s dark… but you are centimeters away from the people next to you. I don’t really wanna see you humping and grabbing one another like the hormone-enraged, uncontrollable teenagers that you are.
Needless to say… we felt pretty bad ass watching all of it. As gross as it was… it was a culturing experience. We danced for maybe 10 minutes, but again, we danced like the four white naive Hockinson kids that we are. It’s all in the arms! 😉 Once we got our fill of the club, we hit up Shari’s and had some nice pie and milkshakes to calm our nerves and minds and purify our souls and eyes.
PS Barclay totally had the ladies all over him after he did a backflip and we left him to suffer in the storm of ladies that swarmed post-backflip. It was so great.
PPS HYRUM WOULD HAVE KILLED HIMSELF.