School. Activities. Cheer. Band. Home. Work. Family. Friends. Boyfriend. Christmas. New Years. Hygiene. (I know, that probably shouldn’t be on the list.) College. Money. Life. Future. Past. Now.
Hefty list to take in.
Life has been hectic and heavy lately. As it can be! I like to keep myself busy. Going going going and like to think that nothing can stop me. I look back at some things that I’ve accomplished and can’t really understand how I made it out alive. Junior year was one of those times. The week before winter break was one of those times. High school has kept me busier than ever.
The few weeks leading up to break, it seemed like our family was blessed with Murphy’s Law; everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I couldn’t access my paycheck, my schoolwork was excruciating, I ruined my sister’s bumper, my brother got into a bad accident and totaled his car (and we’d just replaced the locks), I lost my retainer (an expensive replacement), our year-and-six-month-old refrigerator with a year warranty stopped working… the list goes on and on of the unfortunate events this month.
With those things, there were other stresses on my shoulders such as Poetry out Loud, my senior project, the challenge in band, various tests, and the fact that I had done NO Christmas shopping and it was December 20th. I was freakin’. I had a classic Erin feeling: THE WORLD IS SQUISHING ME! Probably one of the worst feelings… and I partially bring it upon myself.
This break has been a major relief to my emotional and physical health. I’m sleeping more than 5 hours a night (even though my stress-induced dreams are freaky) and I’m not constantly feeling like I’m falling short in some way because I’m so preoccupied with everything else. It’s been nice to just hang. To chill. To have some me time. To change up my hair. To go on dates with Brian and/or Anna. It’s been so nice.
During my time off from the stresses of school, there are still other stresses at home, but I am feeling better. I’m not crying and I’ve had some time to realize that I’m way too blessed to be stressed. The fact that I’m alive and physically able to do everything that I do is an incredible blessing. My brother being alive and unharmed after his accident is amazing. I’ve received wonderful gifts from friends and family who gave me thought and I’ve been able to give people gifts that I spent a long time deliberating or making in hopes that they’d like it. I’ve been able to look forward to this next year with some high hopes of where I’ll end up a year from now.
I guess it just took some time to think to realize that my life is so great! I’ve got so many people who care about me; family, friends, boyfriend, teachers, etc. So many. I’ve got a roof, a job, food. All great things! I can cheer. I can read. I can talk. I can think. I can make music. I can sing. All things that bring me joy. I’ve got too many blessings to be stressed about life. My blessings are constantly outweighing the stresses, even though I fail to recognize it most of the time. I hope everyone else is having a relaxing break as well, filled with yummy food and fun people. 🙂